Hello Karen and Sue, Thank you so much both. Karen you are so right: its always been the way with me, thinking so far ahead and you are right - just to concentrate on the present. Im so scared of walking into the ward and seeing him for the first time post-op but as you say, that will mean he will have survived and its a step towards recovery. Im a great believer in talking and getting it all out and this forum is keeping me going. I too, found it overwhelming that I may lose him, it really freaked me out and that is why Im on tablets from the doctors - to try to keep calm. I really will take to heart your words Karen - thank you so much. Sue: Thank you so much for your prayers - I really do appreciate it so much - and I have told Harald that there are really some truly marvellous people on here that have so much to give as they understand and Im so grateful to you. I will update you as the week progresses. Today is the first day I have not cried since he was diagnosed a month ago - but he cried today - saying that no-one had ever loved him as much in his life. I never realised that too - how much I love him - it has no boundaries.

Bless you all. Thank you Karen and Sue. Judith xxxxxxx