Hi Judith,
Sorry for the delay in my response, but have been away from the board for a few days. I understand your questions as I, too was very concerned about the time I would be away from my work. I am the primary income right now and carry all the insurance, so I definately needed and wanted to be the best at my job - both at home and away. At first when Jim was going thru radiation, I didn't miss any work - this wasn't due to me, though, it was due to Jim insisting that I go to work and that he would do radiation and come home. When I had to be out of town for a week, I had his dad come stay with him, not because Jim needed it, but because I needed it to be able to stay focused on my job while he was slowing going down hill.

Since his reoccurence, I have taken intermittent family leave - we are given 12 weeks in a rolling 12 month period, so I have done my best not to miss too much work, but have been there for Jim when he has gotten sick - and to be honest there were Dr. appointments that he could have gone to without me, but I needed to be there to ask questions and gain my own insight into this beast. There have also been times, that I have been so exhausted after a Dr. appointment that I just came home and "vegged-out". The literature mentions that chemo can cause depression on the recipients, but it also causes depression, exhaustion on the care-givers as well. Jim is also a little different in that he has a prosthesis and has to use crutches...which is EXTREMELY difficult when bodily functions happen without any warning...so I stay with him during those times. My job is very stressful as I manage about 90 employees of which they too have issues...I have been with my company for 16 years now, of which I do not take it for granted....I work for an incredible and supportive organization, but I also know that I have a responsibility to do my job as best as I can...however, I do let people know about what I am going thru on as a "need to know" basis and not a "nice to know" basis, except for my personal relationships.

As Jim becomes weaker with the more chemo treatments I suspect that I will need to be off of work more and more. I look at everyday that I can work that is just more hours that I don't have to use up and that will be available to me longer term...everyone is different - caregiving is hard, strenuous and extremely tiresome....besides my Lord and Savior, this sight is my only saving grace where I can truly be myself, vent, cry, cuss and be loved all the while....

Liz and Sue have been extremely helpful to me as our husband's diagnose and treatment are very similar....if I ever come into a bunch of money...this site will receive it as I could never repay them for all the support they have given to me - morning, noon and night...24 hrs. a day, seven days a week.

Hang in there! We are all here for YOU! Hugs to you and yours...
Paula