I've been crying this afternoon, because when anyone else goes to see Harald he is fine with them but when I see him he isnt very nice to me and Im really doing my very best, I truly am. He threw a bit of a tantrum today and threw his white board across the room and knocked over some water and cups etc. The nurses had to clean it up. He thinks Im making a fuss but he DOES have a chest infection and all I wanted to do was change his pijamas as the ones he was wearing was covered in stuff he had coughed up - hence full of germs. Im not a germ freak, but I know what is right and wrong when it comes to taking the upmost care with hygiene in patients such as Harald with a tracheostomy etc. but I just seem to be getting on his nerves. I feel so very low. Never felt so low in my life.

Im going to sleep all day tomorrow and take 1 vallium pill.