Hello Jim, Paula and Jerry, thanks so much for your most helpful advice and support. Paula: may I ask you - as caregiver to your husband - I hope you dont mind me asking, but I have been told by the hospital I will need to take about a month off work post-op with Harald, but as a caregiver I guess its forever, caring for a loved one, but Im wondering how long I will need to be off work to care for him? Will I have to give up work, Im wondering? I dont mean that to sound selfish in anyway, but with Harald being 60 if he does go back to work it will only be for 5 years before he retires and we need the income that my job would bring. May I ask if you work or are you a caregive to your husband at home? sorry, Ive not worded this very well but I hope you know what I mean. On a brighter note, Harald has not had a cigarette for 3 days now and has said he will give up. Im hoping and praying, after all, we are in this journey together and apart from himself, I have asked him to do that for me. Only 5 days now until the operation. My biggest problem is looking too far ahead as they wont know the complete diagnosis (or prognosis) until they get the pathology from the big op. All we know so far is T4 from an incisional biopsy, so we dont know the whole picture yet, except they have said they believe one, maybe two nodes are involved in the neck so they are taking as many neck nodes as they can. Gosh. Its all so scary.... but Im so pleased that you are all out there as my new friends/contacts because it really will help to keep me (and Harald= going. Thanks so much.

Judith xxx