Im in England and have just registered on here. I am in the early stages of just taking in the recent diagnosis of my husband with T4 SCC of mandible and ? node involvement. He was diagnosed on 4th Aug and we are awaiting an iminent date for his (14 hour) surgery - bilateral neck dissection, removal of 4cm tumour in mandible and creation of flap from chest wall, creation of tracheostomy and PEG feeding tube insertion. Im scared stiff and not coping at all well. Am on sedatives and signed off work right now. The surgeons have said (because I was stupid enough to ask the question), that he would only have months left to live if he did not have the operation - however he is STILL smoking althought trying to cut down. I feel as though our whole world has caved in and turned upside down and shaken out. We havent even been married 5 years (I am 47 and he is 60) and I dont want to lose him. Im so scared. I hope and pray we can get through this. Im not normally negative but Ive been so useless and keep breaking down all the time. Hopefully the diazepam will help a little. We are due back to clinic tomorrow morning so maybe then, we will get a date for Harald.

Any advice anyone could give me I would be most welcome of.

Judith