Judith-Hang in there. The smoking issue is a really tough one. My husband quit about 8 years ago but I guess it still took its toll. It really bothers me when people used to tell me that I had to make him quit. It's his decision. And for those who say why bother with the pain of treatment if you're not going to quit, they are very insensitive to the situation. Although I'm sure smoking and/or drinking caused many of the oral cancer cases-you can't be sure that's why. There are several other factors involved. I hope your husband sticks to his guns and really gives it up.
Did the doctors say he would need full time care for a month AFTER he gets out of the hospital? Is there anyway you could get some help so you can keep your job? Everyone is so different in regards to recovery time. My husband was in the hospital for 2 weeks and needed me full time for several weeks afterwards. Then he had to go for chemo and radiation everyday for 7 weeks. Needless to say, I had to quit my part time job. I'm just really lucky that we didn't count on that income.
Sue