Hello Sue, Markus and Cray, thank you all for writing your posts. Sue: yes the hospital have said I would need to be his carer for a month post-op AFTER he gets home that is. I will need to learn and attend to the PEG feeding tube and I really dont know what else as the hospital havent yet said. When he is better himself, his work (office) want him to work from home for a while as he's been told by the hospital that he wont be back in the office until after Easter next year. We were scheduled to go to India on vacation in March but I guess that will have to be cancelled. I dont much fancy being there if anything goes wrong or if Harald needs medical treatment. Marks: I feel very strongly about the cigarette thing: and when I met him he was a heavy smoker and I said I would never ask him to give up: Ive no right to change what is him, but I do think now that the shock of the situation is sinking in - he has stopped for just 3 days now and seems to be coping, I know its only 3 days but the more he can give up even PRE-op, the better his recovery will be post-op as now he is coughing up all the rubbish that has been in his lungs for so long. Cray: Ironically, I work in a hospital myself, and they have been so caring and understanding to me: I should get 6 months off paid leave if need be: so I cannot complain at that. I sincerely hope I wont be away that long though and maybe I can try to work from home too. I am a medical secretary and I work for a colorectal surgeon. He deals with cancers too. Its so different when you are on the other side of a situation though. My head (brain) seems to blank out even the basic stuff I should know. Doey anyone know of any really good antibacterial wipes or handwashes (alcogel) I could take to the hospital? whilst they have it there, Ive seen a whole team of doctors in the hospital where I work, just ignore the signs of washing hands and alcogel and it can be a real problem in our hospitals with MRSA etc. There's too much at stake to get it wrong. I want to be as "clean" and sterile as poss. Its all getting a bit scary now the date is getting nearer. Wednesday is going to be such a long day, 8 a.m. until 10 p.m. I have people (friends) with me through the day so hopefully that will help. Gosh, Im so glad I found this site. Its keeping me SANE.

Thanks so much to you all.

Love, Judith xxx