Hi Cindy,
This is a tough time but tons of families, young families, have gotten through it. So can your family. I do think that you need to find a way to take control of your house and of your life. I had four children living at home, 17, 12, 11 and 9 when I was going through treatment along with two grandaughters, ages 4 & 5 that were used to spending half their time at Nana and Grampies. So I know what it's like to have kids and all that entails AND be dealing with cancer. In my opinion, the key to it is to not allow anyone to become a victim of it all. It sucks to have to deal with it BUT it still has to be dealt with. Take the scout incident, I feel just like Gary, I would be on that guys doorstep telling him what he could do with his stupid badge. Then I would call someone above him and tell them what is going on. Get rid of some of the dogs, even if it's only temporary. That is something you can explain to the kids so they don't think their pets have dissapeared.
What type of support do you have? Your post sound like you have none that is truly a help. Maybe I'm misreading.
My husband told me that it was easier for him to deal with it all if he kept focused on what needed to be done at the moment, what could be done to keep it as normal as possible for the kids. He said that if he let himself fall into the trap of feeling sorry for himself that it would have been his downfall. He said he allowed himself to feel sorry for me and for our kids and looked at himself as the person that could make us feel better. I'm not saying his way is perfect, he didn't talk enough about his feelings and when treatment was over, he was convinced of a cure and wanted us all to forget cancer was ever a part of our life. You need to find somewhere in the middle that will allow you to not be overwhelmed with the way you feel and allow you to manage your house,kids and also help your husband deal with his treatment.
Please let his doctor know that he has mentioned suicide.
I hope it gets easier for your family.
Minnie