Stephany,

I can't believe they sent your mom home before getting her pain under control. Have the doctors said why they can't get it controlled? Please make sure the hospice people know how bad it is. They should be able to help.

I'm sorry I can't help you on the question about a nurse. Every insurance is different and I don't really know anything about how medicare works. I guess you would have to call the ins. co. Actually, the hospice group should have a social worker or coordinator who should be able to help you with stuff like that. Our hospice also had volunteers to come in on days that the nurse didn't. We never used them, but I know they were available. Again, there should be a hospice coordinator who can help you with all this. Please don't hesitate to use all the services they provide. You and your dad will quickly wear yourselves to a frazzle trying to do it all yourself.

I want to add something to one of my previous comments. I said I thought Heather would have lived longer if she had better nutrition and if the tumor hadn't moved into her spine. The reason I felt that way was because the chemo she was on was starting to shrink the tumors. In fact, for a short time, she had an amazing turnaround. But because of the complications from the destruction of her vertebrae and the digestive issues she suffered, she couldn't continue receiving chemo. She was just too weak. It really wasn't too long after she stopped chemo that she died.

When I originally made that comment, I was trying to give you hope that your mom would live longer than Heather, even though I wasn't very hopeful that would actually happen. After reading your post about not wanting your mom to suffer needlessly, I can see that wasn't necessarily a good idea. I still don't have any idea how long your mom might have, but since she won't be having any treatment to try to shrink the tumors, I would probably guess her time would be relatively short, compared to Heather's. Especially if your mom has given up. Sometimes that can have a profound effect on the time one has left. But again, this is purely speculation and I am probably way out in left field on this one. And if I say anymore, people will think I am really loony, so I think I'll quit jabbering now. Let us know how things go.

Rosie