Stephany,
I think of you and your mother throughout the day and wish there was something that could be done to make it all go away. It's unimaginable to me what you are dealing with and what your mother is going through. I'm 43 and still have my very healthy mother and my very healthy grandmother, it doesn't seem fair that you have to go through this. But, it is the task that has been set in front of you and all you can do is your best, no one can expect anything more. Something Rosie said in one of her posts always stayed with me. It was about making sure to ask about last wishes, to ask about any arrangements a terminally ill person might like to make. I have no advice on how to go about doing that but it just makes great sense to me and something I will do if I'm ever in your position.
Take care and keep us all informed. We are here to help.
Minnie

SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.