P.S. (I edited my own post with this):
Patty, I am not suggesting that I know what you should do in your giving care and support to Joe. I certainly am not suggesting that I know anything more than his doctors. This web site is watched and read by many more people dealing with these questions and frustrations. Some are deciding what they should choose as a course of treatments and occasionally the medical advice they have received seems incorrect (or incomplete). The most common general theme here is advocacy and information. Missed or delayed or incorrect diagnosis is a big reason these cancers get to be stage 3 or 4. Incomplete treatment protocols (like surgery only) because of a doctors limited experience is possibly why the survival rates are not higher. My post is as much (or more) for them to ponder as for you.

You have done very well for Joe and he is better off because of your efforts. I don't want you to think otherwise.

Mark, 21 Year survivor, SCC right tonsil, 3 nodes positive, one with extra-capsular spread. I never asked what stage (would have scared me anyway) Right side tonsillectomy, radical neck dissection right side, maximum radiation to both sides, no chemo, no PEG, age 40 when diagnosed.