Patty,

I agree. Get a second opinion. That is the one thing we didn't do often enough that I will always regret. Of course, in Heather's case, the docs were all so positive about her good chances that we didn't even think about getting a second opinion. After all, they were telling us what we wanted to hear, at least until they found the second tumor. Then they changed their tune. (Maybe they were just blowing smoke right from the beginning, but I don't think so.) Anyway, it is possible that there truly is nothing left the docs can do for Joe, but I would want to hear that from more than one doc before accepting it.

About not telling Joe the truth, my gut feeling is that he should be told. But you know him better than the docs. Do you think he would want to know? Of course, if you decide to get other opinions, you will have to explain at least some of it to him. He certainly would question why you would want second opinions if he thinks he is "cured". It's a tough call, but at some point, he's going to know anyway. Will he be angry because he wasn't told sooner so he could prepare himself? There may be things he will want to do if he knows the end might be near. I personally feel he needs to be told the truth. If it were me, I would want to know. Would you? Maybe if you put yourself in his shoes, it will help you decide what to do. I'm so sorry you have to make this decision in the first place.

Rainbows & hugs,
Rosie