Brandon,
I understand your passion in wanting me to know all about whatJoe is dealing with.I really appreciate your words of advise.I am not totally convinced that the doctors know everything about Joe,and yes I feel that they are putting a sugar coat on what they're telling me.The difficulty with this whole situation is that I am not a medical professional,although I have a neighbor who is an oncology nurse.I ask her questions the same way I do in this forum.She has told me things that chill me to the bone,and she is a very straight foward person.I am fully aware what can and probably will happen to him.My need is basically this,I see the serious nature of Joe's condition and the doctors have not been as straight foward as I'd like.Just like yourself, I have read as many articles as I can get my hands on.I have talked to numerous people in and out of the medical field.They have all given me similar responses.So,please don't think that I am searching for a cure for his cancer in this forum.I am in search of opinions from people that have gone through similar situations.I don't care that there is no one but you that has experience with oral melanoma.The answers that I am seeking are of a general oral cancer nature,not solely based in melanoma.I think I would be very hard pressed to find anyone.Joe's head and neck surgeon had 5 patients with malignant melanoma,and none of them lived more than 3 years.There was one case that a lady died in less than 3 months after biopsy.I read Joe's path report for myself from the surgery and it is not good.The tumor that they removed from his tongue alone measured 7.3by5.3 cm.I now that this is one of his prognosticators,and it's not good.The cancer was so extensive in his neck that the surgeon made a pont of saying that he hadn't come across a neck dissection that radical before.Some of his infected lymph nodes were 5-6cm.So,while I really appreciate your interest,I think you have my motives wrong.I only crave general experience answers not text book quotes.I get enough of them from the medical professionals.So,now I guess it's me who should apologise if I sound harsh but I need help with this whole situation.I don't want anyone to feel apprehensive to answer me because they have no knowledge of melanoma.I'll take all the help I can get.In the weeks I've been handling this disease with Joe,this forum has given me more that I could have asked for. smile

Thanks again for your interest,
Patty

Caretaker of Joe,10/03 malignant melanoma of the tongue.
50% tongue removed,left radical neck dissection.11/03.Recurrence
to jaw and neck and multiple mets to major organs 1/2004