Diane, I understand completely. I think from the moment we first hear the word "cancer" - our instincts direct us to the negative, and the thought of it being a "losing battle" always rears it's ugly head. But since your husband is determined to forge ahead in this battle - that should give you the strength and motivation you need to continue on with hope in your heart. In spite of all the terrible aspects of cancer - I still believe there is always hope. And as hard as it is sometimes to go through this as a caregiver - I know I would never give up - as long as my husband is willing to fight this battle - I am too. It's ironic as my husband has mentioned - that he survived Viet Nam as a young soldier back in the late '60's - been shot and wounded, had tropical sprue, malaria and to this date other health issues including PTSD...only to have to wage a battle that is going on in his own body. But anyway, I just wanted to say...be strong, and hang in there...you're not alone and neither is your husband. Take care.