I feel like a traitor even posting this. My husband is the one dealing with cancer. But, I'm here watching him each day along with our two young sons. I'm mad! I'm so friggin' mad that I can't see straight. Ok, maybe I swing from absolute depression, to anger, but never any peaceful feelings or, god forbide, happiness. I'm TIRED. And I'm tired of being the strong one. Am I awful? I hope not, but I don't want to hurt my husband's feelings by talking about it. I pray every night that our life will get back to normal, but I'm more intelligent than that I guess. It's a fairy dream. I guess what I'm asking, is for others to tell me whether I'm a selfish asshole, or if this is normal. He doesn't take any control of his condition.....I'm the nurse, plus cargiver of the kids with no help within 300 miles. They've been here for part of his surgeries, but as a whole, it's just me. When they call, it's to inquire about him. Which I totally understand, but what do I do???? I'm tired of crying.
Mandi