Donnajean, I know what you are feeling some days I hate to wake up I too am a caregiver and some days I wake up and wonder what I am going to do with the rest of my life. My husband is in the Pallitive mode at this time and everyday I wonder what it will bring. They can not do nothing else for him so I watch him waste away to nothing and accept the phone calls from concerned family and try to deal with all there questions on how is he doing is he eating and so on and I just want to say if you want to know why don't you come by and free me up so I can have some time to myself? Then the guilt overrides the need and I just go on like everything is alright and cry while I am alone washing dishes, Mowing the lawn, taking out the trash etc etc I love my husband very much but I guess I am scared of what tomorrow is going to bring also. So hang in there and vent when you need to and life will hand you only what you can bear. I really try to take good care of myself also but it is hard when you have no one to eat with or no one to talk to. You are in my prayers as everyone here is. Bobbie a caregiver