Bob and Gary...thanks for the advice. I know in my case - It can be so overwhelming at times - I feel like I'm losing my mind! But I try my hardest to keep things in perspective (although at times I can't help but be a complete basket-case!). Anyways - thanks again for everything.

Bob - As a personal note, I would like to express how sorry I am on the loss of your wife. You said she had passed away from malignant melanoma - this struck a chord with me, because I lost my brother at age 50 to the same disease. He lived with this for about 2 years - but in the 2nd year this disease had quickly spread like wildfire throughout his body. I lost him in 1997, and my dad in 2000 to complications from a stroke. Anyways, what you said about feeling free to "chomp away" at food even though the "patient" cannot is something I know I had a very hard time doing in the beginning of my husband's illness/treatment. I had incredible "guilt trips" snacking on things I know my husband loved but couldn't eat - like potato chips for a snack, or even a juicy steak. Even now - although I am feeling more comfortable eating around him, I am still careful on what I buy and still feel bad when I bite into something I know we both love - but is on his "no-can-do" list. When my brother was ill with the melanoma - my whole family altered everything, so my brother wouldn't feel left out when we ate - but the guilt we had eating around him was enormous, because in the later stages of the disease - he couldn't even manage a few bites of jello. In the beginning of his diagnosis - he was on a strict macrobiotic diet - lots of veggies, fruits, and tons of homemade juices - carrot and apple, garlic, you name it - he had it - but even as "healthy" as all this was - it didn't do any good in the end. Sorry if I went on so long about this - but with the loss of my brother and my dad - and now my husband with this whole cancer thing - it's just a way for me to vent some pent up aggravation. Thanks for listening - and thanks again to you and Gary for the helpful advice - I hope all caregivers will take this to heart and will be of comfort to them.