Hi Colleen. My daughter is 26 and you remind me of her. She had to STEEL herself to even visit me in the hosptial and I knew that so I ended up trying to protect her and not have her there - because I knew how much it bothered her.

She still has not accepted that I have/had Stage 4 cancer. She has not told a soul where she lives and studies about my illness or treatment - despite getting snide comments about time spent at home. Denial is more than a river in Egypt.

I can tell you (from my experience with my Dad), that you will NEVER regret one moment that you spend with your Mom. You might have to "suck it up" to get through it, but it will be soooooo worth it and so very much appreciated by your Mom. Many years hence you will be very proud of yourself for having found the strength.

You can do it, and it will get easier each time. If you need some topic of conversation to ease the initial discomfort, have a topic planned before you arrive. If you both enjoy a game of scrabble or something - arrive armed with that and soon you will find the uneasiness has passed.

You can do it and will never regret that you did.

Donna