She saw her PCP in September who referred her to an ENT. The ENT diagnosed the cancer and said that it would require surgery. She decided to go to cancer center to a head and neck cancer specialist. They are the ones that scheduled the surgery for December.

This is something that we still question. would the cancer have spread as much had they operated sooner? I contemplate that over and over. I have finally come to the realization that I could make myself ill with the "what if's"!!

There is also something that bothers me so significantly that i have started to see a therapist. I am unable to go over and be with my mom. I am crippled with fear. i cant handle any of the medical part of it. I have two younger sisters that are able to deal much better than me so she is not alone. My fear is that this disease is going to take her and I wasnt there.

They said that the spots were inoperable. They have said that the drug she is receiving today (for the first time) will hopefully stop the growth -- fingers crossed. this could be an indefinite treatment.

I really do thank all of you for the support. The case worker at the hospital did not prepare me for any of this.