Hi Lorie,
I know just how Don feels. I was pretty angry for a while also. I also went through a bout of depression. It's pretty tough to subject your body to this kind of beating and not have some (really) bad days. I don't know how my wife put up with me sometimes.

By all means get the earache checked out but they are pretty common post rad. My doctors weren't surprised. They checked it out on the MRI - said it was a common radiation side effect. I had some fluid buildup in the mastoid area for several months - at times it interfered with my hearing. Then one day it just went away and that part of recovery returned to normal. I bumped up my pain meds to deal with it. I haven't had any earaches or hearing issues since. If the decongestants are making a big difference I would stay with them - if not, the dry mouth being intensified is a factor to consider. Post nasal drip would more likely give you a sore throat.

A lot of the swallowing problems are from lack of saliva and also texturing of the muscles in the neck from the radiation (of course the thick mucos is of absolutely no help). It should improve over time. And on aspirating fluids - it is never a good thing but it also comes with the territory and it will also get better, like everything else, very slowly. There were times I thought I would NEVER stop gagging/choking on food or water. Tell Don to use a straw when drinking liquids - that helped me a lot. Eating and drinking was a real chore sometimes - ALMOST made me wish I had gotten a PEG tube.

You can easily water a milkshake down by adding more milk. I also used to add a scoop or 2 of nestles Quik into the Instant Breakfact for 100+ more calories.

When I was feeling really sorry for myself, early in recovery, I went to a funeral for a friend who died from pancreatic cancer. I had to drag myself there I was so weak. He was Dx'd the same month I was. I realized it could have been much worse. They have a saying in AA "I felt bad because I had no shoes, then I met a man with no feet". It's all about keeping a healthy perspective. It's good that Don's getting out of the house with the guys -I am sure that you can use the break too...