So....

Met with our MO today and I will be demitted from the current trial -- the cancer has gained back everything the trial had won and there is, therefore, no meaningful reason to continue it.

I am eligible for an immuno-therapy trial which would be a 50% chance to receive a phase III immunotherapy drug that works very well when it works, but only works some of the time. the other 50% would be Docetaxin (or however you spell that) with the hope that I could be eligible for a phase I immuno-therapy trial that will begin later in the year.

I am still low volume and he feels there is not any reason to rush in or panic -- he has even given me the option of taking treatment time off and then starting up again in a few months or even more. I'm not really comfortable with that, given the sort of person I am, but I see where he is coming from.

For now, we have a few weeks off while we consider our options and think about what we would like to do. Overall I am still hopeful, I really am, but I am feeling a little bipolar today -- moments of high hopes, moments of despondency. I still can't accept that this can't be beaten, at least into remission, so I am still assuming it's all going to work out!

Meanwhile, I work, we live, we laugh and we cry a bit. I am so lucky to walk through the world with such a wonderful partner -- she's shaken up a bit and feeling a little helpless I think, but I refuse to quit if for no other reason than because I can't imagine walking without her .

Hope everyone else is doing well -- I will update in a few weeks when we have made a decision and are on a new path!!

The Hellion