Oh, my goodness, Stacey - I just had to chime in here as a caregiver and tell you that I can SO relate to what you are going through! It is so very difficult to know when to be soft or when to take charge and put your "Nurse from Hell" hat on! It has to be so horrible for a survivor - to have to face all the changes going on - not only with the body and it's reactions to all that is assaulting him but also the changes in daily living and lifestyle. When you are used to being in control and suddenly it seems like you have no control over anything it can be very depressing.

My son had a bad time with the nausea meds, too and had to have them changed several times. At one point he wasn't eating and I had to threaten to get his sister (a police officer with a gun) to come down and help me stuff him in the car for a trip to the hospital to get a tube installed for feeding. He started eating after that.

Paul also slept a lot and wasn't taking his meds on time so I made a spread sheet with doctors names/phone numbers and listed all the meds and times times and how much he was supposed to take. I made two copies � one to tack up on Paul�s refrigerator so he could check off when he took them and the time, and a copy for me so I could keep track of everything. It is very important to know everything that goes into his body and everything that comes out � and the quantities. This way you can answer the doctors� questions at appointments.

I�m really shocked at how your husband has missed take meds and is reluctant to get to his treatments. If he�s depressed over �losing his manhood�, then it�s time to �man up� and take back his manhood. He can start by taking control of his survival and do what it takes to get better. I would discuss how he is feeling with his Docs. Sometimes meds can have bad side effects. If your husband can be diligent in doing what he is supposed to do, he will start to feel better and will feel more in control.
Stacey � caregivers need caregivers, too and if you are fortunate enough to have family or friends come over to help or spend a little time with you, it can be so good for you. It will strengthen you so that you can be better able to help your husband on the tough journey he is on. Hope things get lots better for both of you soon.