Donna - Vent anytime you feel the need! Anything shared is always more bearable. Loving someone is not always enough for some to quit smoking. When I left home at age my Mom had tears in her eyes - she didn't want me to leave, but it was not enough for her to quit smoking and she died 20+ years earlier than others in her family who lived well into their late 90's. My non-smoker son got the cancer. My other older son who smokes never got cancer and does feel guilty that (so far) he escaped getting it. But not enough to quit. If he got cancer, I think I would be having a major explosion of anger and grief all directed at him!! And Eric - I know about closet smokers. My ex-husband would smoke in the shower! Yes, "C'est la vie" but it can also be "C'est la mort" 20 years sooner.