I didn't mean ignorant in a rude sense-more that after all that we have learned, to not understand. As for the arrogant remark...well, you would have to know me...I don't trust the beast and it seems like they are pitching stones at it to just see what it does.

I was mom's primary cg, she has come such a long way and takes care of herself, and my father has been the most loving and strong man I have ever known-he is the one who primarily takes her to the appts in Philly now. It is a betrayal to herself. I can't comprehend why she would light up, right now she is doing HBO tx's for severe necrosis in her left lower jaw bone. last night she said she felt the 'little men' stabbing her tongue. this morning, a hunk came of the tongue... i looked into her mouth for the first time in a while and saw that there is all the colorful activity going on. I don't know what to say to her. I'm scared. I don't understand this addiction. I like to think that if it were me, and i had gone through pure hell as she has, I wouldn't do it.
I love my mom, she has always been my friend, but I feel now like she and I are so estranged. i'm angry. Disappointed. greiving the loss of the fighter she was for the last few years...

Dodie, you are so right. So much easier said than done for me.