Donna - It is so hard to see someone you care about going thru such a sad time. My mother smoked until she died from it, and I just lost a dear friend of mine (former nurse) because of smoking. I've never smoked and I've found it difficult to understand why some people seem to give it up so easily and others just can't. In one of my many visits to my nurse friend in the hospital before she died, she knew her daughter was upset with her and she confided to me, very emotionally, how she was addicted and just could not quit. I agree with Susan in that telling your Mom how you feel may bring you peace so you can accept your Mom's decision. I'm so glad you have such a wonderful and caring Dad to help with her care. You've certainly been a great caregiver and done everything you could. Maybe acceptance will allow you to have some more positive moments with your Mom to share.