Last week was the week from hell. We were feeling much better after seeing Ron's first surgeon, and the possibility that he could have Cyberknife treatment. Well, that didn't last long. The following day we met with the Oncologist and he said that the tumor board recommended another "salvage surgery." (This is after he previously told us further surgery would not help!). We are now "sitting tight" (his words) on chemo!!! He does not believe that Cyberknife will work because the tumor is so large. It starts under the tongue and wraps around to the top of the tongue. He got us an appointment with the surgeon who did his Sept. surgery for tomorrow, the 22. Before we see him though, I had already made an appt. with an RO up at St. Luke's to talk about Cyberknife, so we are still going to go and at least ask about the possibility. My biggest fear now is that we are reaching the "quality vs. quantity" issue. I just can't imagine what the surgeon will remove this time. I mean, he could want to do a total glossectomy. I know that there are people here who have had that. Could I ask what is your quality of life? Can you still talk and eat? Ron said if he couldn't eat anymore, he would not want the surgery. I don't know what to think. Of course, I want him here as long as possible, but at what cost? We always talked about him going out still able to ride his Harley and that is what I want for him, too. I am feeling very hopeful about the Cyberknife, not so hopeful about the meeting with the surgeon tomorrow. I feel anger towards him anyway, from the last time. I still wonder if he had removed the tonsil that was affected and removed the entire mandible that HE KNEW had cancer in it (fibula was thrown away!), if this cancer would have recurred so quickly. I guess I'm just trying to find someone to blame for this mess! No one should have to go through this three times. Pete D., if you're reading this, I wish you the best on the 30th. Hang in there, and fight like a mule!
Lori