Well today has been a roller coaster ride to say the least! I got up this am and got into the shower...half-way thru, Jim said he needed the bathroom, which I replied, well come on in...I'm in the shower...he wouldn't have it. I jumped out, shampoo and all in my hair. We only have one bathroom in this house - when he came out, he lost it....he fell into bed and started to cry - he said that he couldn't fake it anymore and that he couldn't take the pain anymore and that the process of dying had started - he could feel it. I told him that this was just because he hadn't had any pain medicine for 8 hrs. and that he would be fine...he told me to brace for reality. I gave him his medicines and he proceeded to put that damn prosthesis on (which weighs at least 20 #'s) and I can hear every groan that he makes when he starts pulling the suction up and lacing it....I went to work (which he made me do) and he went off to check on the framers that are remodeling our home. When I got to work I called all of his Dr.'s to which they of course wanted to see him...I left work at noon, went to pick him up and proceeded to the radiation and the oncologist (whom I cannot stand). Bottom line - they gave us a script for 100 mg. of oxycotin and more breakthrough pain medication. I'm a wreck - JIm is very frustrated - his nurse even told me that he looked really bad - - - well, duh! The man is in excrutiating pain and I feel totally helpless! So, I just gave him his meds and hopefully this will help.

Thank you Brian for this board....I don't know where I would be without being able to talk to someone about this....

Liz - where are you?