Dear Paula, you've gotten some really helpful information in the last few weeks from this group [and I know Sue is struggling with the many of the same questions] and I want to share some thoughts with you. You are NOT GIVING UP on anything by requesting hospice. IN FACT, you will be doing Jim, yourself and your family a great service. Whether it's in home care or at a facility, there will be professionals available to ease the pain and fatigue for all of you. One of the most echoed themes on OCF is "how differently we all react to this disease, the tx. and the outcome". That is soo true. Liz [a nurse] was terrified that her Robin might die at home. I [an old English teacher] promised John that he could die at home. But both of us got greatly needed support from hospice. So much of what you are going through is still very clear in my mind and my heart goes out to you. AND you need to have strong, professional people around you to keep you grounded while dealing with this- for your sake and Jim's. Amy