Thank you Marica - prayers is what is needed most. As for me, Sue, I don't know what I'm doing. Jim slept most of today. I cleaned house and found myself on my hands and knees schrubbing the floor in the bathroom...all I could think of was that the bathroom is such a germy place and that if I used Lysol and scrubbed really good, then it would kill the germs and Jim wouldn't get any infections. What a dumb thought!

This board is my support - I read it all the time; I have very little family and I don't bother his family because I don't want to upset them. I cry all the time when I'm by myself or typing on the board. I hate this emptiness that I have. I am soooo scared...there is so much on our plate and I don't know how we will do it, but I trust that God will see His plan through and I'm not to question the plan. I looked at the similarities, Sue in our husbands and you are so right, they are very, very similar. When Jim and I were in the Dr.'s office last week, there was a skeleton that had red dots on it, showing where this cancer often metastises...leg, lung, chest, etc. Jim had 'em all, except for the skull. Jim asked about how long before it would go to his brain and the Dr. told him that typically SCC doesn't go to the brain, but just the skull. So, I kept looking at the skeleton thinking this is exactly what the inside of his body looks like - a textbook skeleton with red dots - so simple, but yet don't have a cure....

Sue - when will you find out the results of Neil's scan?