Paula
on the day that Rob was told there was nothing more they could do,we drove home in total silence.When we got home,i dropped him off and took the dog for a walk.We both needed some space to get our heads round the fact that he had a few weeks left.It was a total shock,we never saw it coming ,had no preperation time ,god he never even got offered chemo or anything else.

When i returned home 30 mins later,he was sitting in the lounge with a very expensive bottle of brandy and two glasses,and as soon as i walked in he told me to sit down,while he told me what was going to happen.

He then rattled off a list of things he wanted me to do,a list of things he was going to do and within a short while i was setting it all in motion.

I was in shock,but he had been thinking things through for a few days and was expecting the news.I didn't argue with him ,just set about doing everything he had asked.It was surreal,but it was all i could do for him then.My admiration for him knew no bounds and all that he wanted was done in a few days.

This left us three weeks to spend every minute together we had left.During that time he had the chance to tell me his wishes after he was gone.He was so so brave and it made my role so much easier because i just (for the first time in my life)followed his instructions to the letter.I didnt have to think or make decisions for myself.

Just listen to him Paula,and let him tell you what is in his head,and let him know that everything he needs or wants you to do will be done. This will ease his mind and let him concentrate on his own fight against this bastard disease.

I wish you both a peacful time together.


love liz