Anne, I second Christine's assessment. You're in a very difficult place and, whether he's able to express it or not, I have no doubt that Gordon depends on you like no one else. Hang in there because things will improve eventually.

I have no experience with hallucinations. I can't imagine it's pleasant. My dad had them years ago after bypass surgery and saw little animals crawling all over the walls of his hospital room. Or maybe it was just a lousy hospital!

Not sure how I really made it through without the PEG. I know others have done so too. It was very tough, I can tell you that. If I had it to do over again I'd get the PEG for sure... although at the time I'd just had a possibly bad reaction to anesthesia during my neck dissection so I was wary of going under again. Oh well.

Davidcpa is, as usual, smart and informative on these issues. I may joke about my dad's visions, because we all need some lightness, but he may well be right about Gordon's meds. Worth asking about.

Hang in there, don't beat yourself up (sounds as if you did exactly the right thing calling the oncologist) and remember that your lifeline here is open at all times.

D2