Heike, I hope that you will print out Christine's and Anne-Marie's posts above mine, and leave the posts where your husband will find them. You can add mine to that print-list if you'd like.

Your husband is being both very selfish and very self-centered. You know this, all of us who have been following your struggle to help him know this. He needs badly to know this.

So, for you, take a moment and realize that we are not responsible for anyone but ourselves; and we (and we alone) are 100% responsible for our lives and our actions (including in-actions).

You are not responsible for the fact that his fear drives him to be an intractable ass, he is.

You have CHOSEN to assist him every way you possibly can because that is what we all do for those we love, but you are NOT responsible for him refusing to cooperate in his own salvation, he alone bears that responsibility.

Please, do not torture yourself with self-doubt; you are doing everything humanly possible to wake him up to his reality, but only he can do that, you cannot do it for him.

Hang in, but don't try to carry his burden; it cannot be done and the doomed effort will damage you. Please don't let that happen.

Good Luck, and Be strong in rejecting any idea that you are responsible for the consequences of his refusal to cooperate in his own survival.

Bart