You are right. I am certainly pissed off that it happened so early.

If I was 70 I am sure I'd feel much better about this. Being 40 and feeling like I have not even achieved anything is harder. I think...

I have been trying to help others; I could probably do more; A friend is very miserable about back pain etc and I wrote and talked to him. On the other hand I have so little time funcio

The hospital I am talking about is USC in los angeles. It's a complete nightmare and there is nothing good about it. It's basically a place where people are experimented upon without medication and by people who are not qualified.

I can't take a friend or a family member as I don't have one who would do that. The current hospital is ok though doctors don't want to see me as they feel my current problems are not cancer related.

Believe ot or not I have several pets and they certainly are fun to be with. If it was not for them and the meds I'd be much worse than this.


[quote=ChristineB]TRT:

Im sorry you are going thru such an awful time right now. Maybe I missed it, but are you still taking any meds for this? Is the therapist helping?

Yeah, we can all feel upset about being dealth a bad hand with having oral cancer, but that doesnt change it. If I sit around and scrutinize my life I get upset at how things are then I get mad at myself for doing that. Ive been sick for almost 2 years now and still am not back to how I was before, which stinks! These things bother me just like what you have written about.

Being in my 40s, I dont consider myself old yet and you shouldnt either. So many things are waiting out there to do and look forward to. I will try to give you a different perspective, hope I can be helpful to you.

Something that helps me to feel better is helping others. Makes me feel useful and needed, like I have a purpose. Volunteering even once a week might make you feel better. It doesnt have to be anything difficult, maybe just reading books to sick children at the hospital or helping at the retirement home talking to the elderly. Life is a choice. We can let our feelings take over and sit around feeling badly or we can decide to do something about it. By sitting around, nothing will change. We must pick ourselves up and go out and make a difference in our lives.

I understand you are upset with the hospital but Im sure it has helped so many. Its upsetting to read you feeling about how it should be burned down. I dread going back to the hospital myself. But when I see my doctors and nurses and they smile and are happy to see my progress it makes me realize how far Ive come. If you try, Im sure you could think of something positive associated with the hospital.

Maybe you could try not being so hard on yourself. We are all our own worst enemies and critics. Try taking a friend or family member with you to appointments. Do you have any pets? If not have you considered getting one? Pets give unconditional love and are always happy to see you which helps brighten any mood.

Hope I was able to help.

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