I know what you're going through. I'm susceptible to depression--had mild forms of it most of my life. Most of it comes from wondering, "What's the point of life? What is death like?" etc.... I was just too aware of the human condition. I get into long bouts of depression and anxiety when it came to health issues. Several years ago, it got bad and I had to see some cardiologists to see if I had heart problems. Luckily, I didn't, but for a couple years afterwards I was worried there were going to be problems and that caused my blood pressure to rise. It was a vicious cycle. I would get worried, my blood pressure would go up, I would take my blood pressure, and it would stress me out even more. I finally had to learn that it was all in my head, and even if it wasn't, it was out of my control. I just had to let go. Once I learned that, I got my worries under control and my blood pressure returned back to normal.

Now i've got new worries, but I know now my personality is to always worry about things. I think it's a self defense mechanism to prepare for the worst. It sucks. People shouldn't worry about shit so much, especially death. I think that's the fundamental flaw of our society and culture: death isn't embraced, it's ignored. And society is too focused on being "successful" and making lots of money. I think that causes needless worry and stress.

Anyways, i've been to therapists, and most of them suck. I've talked to others who've been and they think they're a waste of time too. I've finally found one, though, that has dealt with his own issues of depression, anxiety, and pain management. He is really good. After several sessions with him, i've felt much better. He also told me of his experiences with anti-depressants and sleeping pills. I never went that route, but I know others that have and offered the same advice for drugs. Too bad he is in NorCal.