And posting this was probably a really hard thing to do. I can actually relate to some of your feelings. You are not alone from what I am reading here. I am getting a lot of support from my friends here and I am sure you will too. I am going to try to take my own advice that I am telling you. Please don't be too hard on yourself. You have been through a horrific ordeal and it takes a long while to heal. One in my opinion does not just "get over" oral cancer. The memory may fade but I don't think we will ever totally forget. But we will be happy again just gotta find our nitch...or switch and turn it on...We will be good once again I have faith in that one!!