Donna - You are feeling and experiencing what a lot of us have, and it's not a pity party to have some compassion for yourself! I felt like a maid, too at times. I actually did run away, once - got in my car and drove home, crying all the wayl Of course, I felt so guilty, but things did get better after that. And about your Mom's reaction to "only xx more treatments" My son had the same irritated reaction but when we got a lot closer to the end of Tx, he started mentioning the count-down numbers himself, so maybe your Mom will feel more positive as time goes on. Also, don't worry about the garden - that's just STUFF and the fact that it's dead proves what an excellent caregiver you've been. "People before things" is my motto. Margaret has such good ideas above and going back to what Amy said about thinking what you can control, maybe you could see what things you could eliminate as well as get some help with the things you don't eliminate. It really does help to get some time for yourself. When anyone came over to see my son, I would use the opportunity to leave the house and do stuff for me. I told him I thought he should have some exclusive time with his friends, but it did me as much good as it did him. You shouldn't have to pick up after adults (unless they are really incapacitated). I still go over to my son's house a couple of times a week to do laundry and other chores and I was planning to show his 6 yr old daughter how to do laundry (of course making it seem like a privelege) but she can't reach the "On" button yet so I guess I'll hold off for a while. Certainly anyone over 10 (male or female) can do their own laundry. It's not hard and all the machines come with instructions. Anyway, Donna - you are doing a super human job and you do need a break. You've already done such good things. Killing the garden was good - it gives you one less thing to work on. Maybe you could get someone to go see a funny movie with you - or just go out for ice cream. Let us know what happens and how many things you were able to eliminate.
