Sharlee,

I was thinking about you earlier today and just wanted to add one piece of advice which is do not try to argue about anything with your husband while he is drinking. Whether or not he's an alcoholic or just abusing alcohol because he's stressed, alcohol doesn't make for positive conversations during tense times.

When I was splitting up with my ex (over a decade ago now), a counselor I saw used to tell me there are only five words you should use in conversation with an active alcoholic. They are:

"yeah." "no." "really?" "oh." and "whatever".

I still find this list of words a good list to have when I'm dealing with someone who's really ranting about something. Try them out next time your husband acts like a jerk--wait to have the meaningful conversation about how you're feelibg until he's in a place where he might be able to hear what you're saying!

Nelie