Sharlee, maybe you must try a different approach. There are counselling staff at your hospital who are willing and experienced to help you. You just tell them your story and they will help you. You are not alone here. You can meet people in the hospital who are in the same boat as you. Get their phone number or email address. We are here for you at all times day or night. Chin up, pull yourself together, stand tall and change your thinking to saving your sanity. If needed go to your doctor and get medication to calm you. I am not a big fan of medication but when needed is needed. Keep us posted. Carol Ann..ps If it was me I think I would play low key and work on a PLAN to get myself better. After that..deal with the other things as they may. After you get better. Take care now.

Carol CG to Husband age 60 Stage IV SCC right tonsil T4AN2B tx rad x 35 chemo x 2 Currently after treatment no sign of cancer in throat. (all clear to date)