Sharlee,

My ex husband was (and is) an alcoholic and I went through some tough times with my current husband when I was fighting two kinds of cancer at once because the cancer thing just freaked him out so I have been sort of near the shoes you are in though not exactly in them.

And although,like Minnie, I'd like to whop your husband's ass right now for what he said to you, I think the most sane advice I can give you is to get counseling help for yourself RIGHT NOW. As others have suggested, ask to speak to the social worker at your hospital, they will know of what's available. I'm also a veteran of al-anon and I agree with others who have suggested them although quite honestly I don't think al-anon will be enough to help you through the stress of fighting cancer right now. Still, you need all the support you can get and it can't hurt to check them out.

Honestly, it's hard for me to tell from what you've written if your husband really is an alcoholic or is just abusing alcohol because of the stress of the cancer stuff you are going through. If there were cracks in your marriage before, this disease can turn them into fault lines. That's what happened for me--and the cracks were ones I didn't even know were there before I got cancer. Fortunately, my husband and I went to couples counseling and our marriage seems to be back on track. But believe me, it was touch and go for a while and it happened during a year of cnacer treatment hell for me.

So my other advice is, along with getting help for yourself, if there's any way you can, see about getting some kind of marriage or couples counseling. Actually, maybe you need a family counselor because it sounds like your teenage daughter may need to see how important it is to support you too right now.

Bottom line is, if you do have more cancer (and don't assume you do just yet) and need radiation, even if there are other issues, they are just going to have to wait at least a little while. And people need to understand that. If your family, especially your husband, can not understand that, maybe you need to move somewhere (in with sibling or a friend?) where you will be cared for or at least not unduly stressed when you are going through treatment--with the promise that you will come back to try to work out your family issues as soon as you have the energy.

Finally do remember that we care about you here and will try to offer whatever cyber-support we can.

Oh, and thanks for putting more line breaks in your writing. It really helps someone like me with old eyes in terms of being able to follow what you're saying....

Nelie