Ambra,

Your experience is very common, so don't take it personal or feel your friends let you down. Even best friends going AWOL happens quite often. Doesn't ease the disappointment much.

Given your cohort lives by the rules of invincibility (ie 20 somethings), it partially explains their behavior. They see you return to work and function so figure all is well and go about their bursting 20 something lives.

Couple observations about my experiences on this subject. Many people just don't know what to say, how to react, or what they can offer. Too many reasons to even attempt to unwind that one.

Those that did engage usually had dealt with cancer in their past, often family or friends and could relate. Those in health care were most comfortable conversing about it.

Nearby neighbors, seniors, were most empathetic, understanding, and helpful. I attribute this to life experiences as well as having time to help with driving now and then.

Given the epidemic of HPV in younger folks, I decided to out myself, created an online journal site, and blasted that to every email address I had. I felt if I could get just ONE kid vaccinated it was worth all the flack I would get. Doing that also put me in control over my communicating outward and always be the initiator of my status and condition. In my mind, this eliminated all doubt who needed to contact who and reach out.

There's lots of disappointment as you are aware but also very freeing with no wondering, self doubts, questioning why, etc.

Do note many do not feel as I do and really struggle with relationships being affected when one gets cancer. Many "best friends" are no longer, so do not feel alone.

Life goes on a daily I just tried to do as much positive from a terrible situation. Don