Hi aimee, I totally understand your feelings. My mom was my best friend, I spent more time with her than anyone, I guess other than my husband, but you know, lots of free time was spent together...shopping, gardening, cooking, talking, relaxing,etc. Its been since aug 2010 that she went away and I find with every new Season or holiday I miss her the most because everything reminds me of things we did together. I can say with certainty I do feel her with me at times - I also do not come from a religious background although my mom was a christian. I remember questioning SOHARD and so much when she passed, and being so sad at the thought of never seeing her again. I even convinced myself I needed to join a church, which I never did. Im still not convinced prayers are worth a damn.
After many months she began visiting me in my dreams. Sometimes sick, sometimes not. I treasure those dreams and always wake so happy that I got a visit from her, it always seems to happen when I need her the most. I was 2 months pregnant when she passed,my daughter is now 15 months and I need her help and guidance so bad. I think all you can do in your down moments is just be positive with hope that she can hear you and just talk to her, cry to her, yell and hit pillows!, tell her you miss her. She always said theres nothing a good 'boohoo' wouldnt fix

Best
Emily