Aimlee, First, I am so very sorry about the loss of your Mom. I find your story about the butterflies very interesting. You asked stories about similar experiences, I have one. After a brutal 2 year battle, I lost my Mom to colon cancer when she was 54 years old. My newly married, 36 year old brother, John, died suddenly in a plane accident. Both deaths were extremly (beyond) difficult. After John's death, I started to get scared of flying. Rather than succomb to fear, I followed both of my brother's footsteps and learned how to fly, getting my private pilot's liscense 2 years later. During my first solo flight, I was very nervous. My father (who was still dealing with his son's death), husband, 2 year old son, siblings and friends were all there watching. I got to the end of the runway, on the numbers, added power, took off...and as soon as I got airborne thought, DANG..now I really do have to land this thing on my own! As I got midway through the pattern, on the downwind leg, 2 birds joined me for a while. I explain why, but those birds gave me great comfort and calm. I've always wondered if they weren't a sign from my Mother and brother. In the 15 years since, I've heard a good number of others with similar experiences.

As Americans, I don't think we handle death terribly well. We seem to want everything neat and tidy. You have a death, a wake and a funeral, then everyone expects you to move on. I had friends 5 days after my Mother's death tell me they didn't want to see me moping around. Give yourself a break, six weeks is a very short period of time to adjust to such a loss. That said, I do think talking to someone is a very important step in processing your loss. I did not find grief to be a straight line....today you feel bad, tomorrow a little bettter, then better, etc. The loss will sneak up on you again on certain days; first Mother's Day, Christmas, Birthday without her. It was especially tough when my boys were born. My recommendation is to find someone, a professional, friend or family member, who will let you just talk, let it out, listen to you.

One other thing we've done in our home is we celebrate Dia De Los Muertos, something from my Father's culture. Every year, I set up an "ofrenda", put out pictures on a sideboard in the dining room of the beloved members of our family who have died. It gives us a special time to remember then, tell stories, remember the good times. It's the only way my sons know their Grandmother and Uncle. You don't have to have Mexican heritage to do this...:)

So these are some of my experiences and how we've dealth with our losses. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss, I know how hard this is. Please know that it does get better. Hugs, Ana