Hi Aimlee. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my mom 4 years ago to pancreatic cancer. She died at home under Hospice care and the last two weeks of her life were horrific. I also felt like you did when my mom first died. I do believe in Heaven and God and I knew she was going to a better place but at the time it did little to help the hurt, anger and pain. Part of me was at peace that she was in a better place and out of pain but I couldn't put the visual memories of the last two weeks of her life out of my head. The grief was all consuming and overwhelming. All I can say is it takes time. Let yourself grieve and cry. It will get better and the good memories will overcome the recent past.

I also wanted "signs" that my mom was o.k. and still around us. I do have really wonderful dreams about her now but I didn't in the beginning. My daughter, her firstborn grandchild is getting married in September. I can't explain it but I do feel her presence when Pam and I are together "wedding planning". She would be so happy! You never get over it you just get through it. Hugs