Hey lizzy - I know it's scary sh*t - and getting kicked while you are trying to get back on your feet is unfair. I've always tried to be healthy and don't drink, smoke, dont do drugs, and still I wind up with oral cancer - and I'm HPV neg. Yet I see so many people ruining their bodies with little repercussion - it's disturbing - but that's life - this disease plays no favorites. everyone here has given you funny, and helpful advice. I'm sure there is nothing I can add other than my best wishes to you - you are young and strong - you can do this.