Suez - Susan is oh so right! Enabling the alcoholic is something that we get sucked into by the alcoholic who can be very charming and intelligent and good at hiding his addiction plus they can lie so convincingly. It's just a characteristic of the disease. Al-anon was a lifesaver for me and when I finally got the courage up to go, I was astounded at what a difference it made for me to be able to cope and to realize there were things I could do to help myself. You can PM me, too - I get my PM's forwarded to my phone right away.