Hi SUEZ,

You have motivated me tremendously with a few of your posts as of late. My father is an alcoholic, I was headed down the same road before all of this. When I was diagnosed I did the same thing but it was literally in a window of 24 hours, I had the thoughts of " Well I already got it, so what the hell? " and " Who gives a crap, I would rather be drunk anyways." But I swear to you right here and now, when Korinne came home from work early the next day and saw me smoking that second to last cig, because I tell you I was getting ready to make that drive when the car got home. But I am telling you when she gave me that look, I knew it...I cried when she turned around and walked out, cried like a baby watching the ash fall off what had given me this disease. I knew that if she was not going to give up, what in the hell was my problem?

Needless to say, that final cig went down the toilet after advice from OCF friends and family. I am now over 90 days nicotine free, I still have 4 beers from a six pack I bought a month ago. Same thing, each time I sipped the beer I just felt wrong, I felt sold out. Other than pot which I vaporize daily at internet medical measurements and doses lol. But now I just say to my self, " I will not let this run my life and tell me it is ok to die, I am not giving another damned dollar to them!" After all this I am also considering going vegan/vegetarian. But I will stop my rant, just trying to tell you I hope he catches it and does not let go when the look hits him. It was a magical and empowering moment, I felt I had a purpose, Alcohol will not let you have that. Now being around people who are drunk annoys me more than you would ever imagine.

Your Friend,
Nathan