Hi Suez. First I'm so sorry that you are going through all this. If Ron is smoking or drinking and not taking care of himself the cancer will come back. Being a caregiver is difficult even when you are taking care of someone who tries the best they can to do everything they can to help themselves. I know you two have been together for a long time but it sounds like Ron doesn't give a shit about himself so how can he give a shit about you or your feelings? I can't even begin to know how frustrated you are. I know you have been together a long time and you love him but this situation is not healthy for you.

You NEED to take care of yourself or he is only going to make you sick physically and emotionally. You can't LOVE him out of this. It sounds like he has just given up on life.

He probably isn't taking you seriously about him leaving. I know I couldn't stand by and watch someone I love slowly kill themselves. Do you go to Al-Anon meetings? That might help you.

You are not alone in what you are going through. Most people don't like to discuss their personal struggles but having been on these message boards for awhile others have walked in your shoes. Stay strong! Take care of you! Hugs, Wanda