Suez - I'm so sorry you are having such a bad time right now. Living with an alcoholic is really a crazy-maker and when cancer gets thrown in the mix, it gets pretty rough. You really do have to take care of YOU. As Wanda mentioned, Al-Anon does help. I went when I was married to my alcoholic ex and I came away from the very first meeting feeling such a welcome change just knowing I was not responsible for his choices. Just being able to share with some local Al-Anon friends may provide some extra help for you. Ron is going through something really rough and the alcohol and smoking is probably the only way he knows how to cope right now. Trying some healthier way is too scary for him. Would his cousins or friends be able to help or talk to him? I sure hope things can improve for you and for him. I'm sure that reading Liz's posts will help. Take care, stay with us and let us know what's happening.