It is hard Delly. Sometimes when you are on the outside looking in it's kind of worse than for the person undergoing it who will only be half aware because of all the drugs. I hope you have some support from staff, social worker, other family members.

Your father won't want you to get horribly upset for his sake. I looked like a wounded soldier but fortunately my sons seemed to see me as their usual old mum in spite of that. I thought they would be repulsed but they didn't seem to be!!!

The dribbling situation might improve in time ... Botox might eventually come to the rescue but there's the surgery to go through first. Best wishesxxx

1996, ovarian cancer surgery + cisplatin and taxol.
September, 2007, SCC of left lateral tongue. Excision.
October, 2009 recurrence in scar tissue, T1NOMO. Free flap surgery from left wrist - neck dissection. 63 year old New Zealander. No chemo, no RT.
February, 2014. New primary in left buccal mucosa. Marginal mandibulectomy, neck dissection, right arm free forearm flap. T1N0M0 but third occurrence and some areas of concern: RT started 8 April and finished 19 May.