Hi Rhonda -
I totally understand where you are right now. My husband, Kenny, started out very positive about the treatments - surgery, chemo & radiation. But after 2 weeks of radiation and 1 round of chemo he ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks with one complication after another. That is when he gave up. I begged, cried, got mad - you name it. But what it all came down to was Kenny choosing to live.

At the beginning of this journey, I told Kenny that I would support him in all of his decisions - and I had to live up to that promise. He stopped radiation treatments while he was in the hospital and once we got him home, he was set on quitting. A phone call from his RO put it all into prospective - he gave Kenny 1 final week to change his mind. After that, the RO would not take him back as a patient.

I honestly think that line drawn in the sand made Kenny face the reality of death. So, after two more days of wondering if I was going to be a wife or a widow, Kenny asked me to take him to treatment and he finished everything. It has been the hardest thing to do in my entire life - to watch him struggle with this horrific disease and treatment - but he made it.

Is Leon on anti-depressants? I believe they saved Kenny's life. Once Kenny decided to return to treatments, his depression worsened (quickly and dramatically). It was our family doctor (and dear friend) that finally convinced Kenny to give anti-depressants a try. If Leon is not getting counseling or thearpy for depression, please seek it out immediately (and for yourself). Depression is nothing to be ashamed of - it is a disease as well. But more importantly, it is a disease that can be treated.

Kenny is now 5 months out from his last treatment. He is still on the feeding tube during the night, but he is eating more and more every day. He has a very long road ahead of him to regain his stamina and strength - but we are both working on it every day.

Take things one day at a time - literally. What can you do today - just today - to help Leon? Don't worry about the world coming to an end tomorrow -- it's already tomorrow in Australia!

Rhonda, you are not alone. Chat any time.
Carol